Sunday, April 4, 2010

The News 4

The News 4

Well the Chinese have screwed us over again. Homeowners from California to Florida are being told to rip out the drywall from their homes, the problem? Well nothing major just that the drywall emits hydrogen sulfide at a rate 100x greater than normal samples. "what is the big deal?" you ask...Well the drywall also causes people to have nosebleeds, sinus infections and severe throat irritation, oh and it causes copper wire to turn black. I would hope to hear a collective "Holy Shit?" after your read this. Maybe it's time we start keeping an eye out for defective Chinese imports no offense to the Chinese but we really don't like lead poisoning and nosebleeds..... please try to understand.

Tiger Woods is back and in case you were wondering if he ever left, well sales of his branded merchandise rose by 8% from October to March showing we all relate to sex addiction. Although he has lost several sponsors many have stuck with Tiger through his tough times, banging his way through several women, besides his wife. Even the companies who dropped him from current ads will not say he is banished forever, they seem happy to keep one foot in the orgy waiting to see how the "comeback" plays out. I t goes to show there is no such thing as bad publicity and you gotta give kudos to a guy who can make people interested in a sport that when watching it equals the same excitement as watching paint dry.

Bunny rabbits and baby chicks will be given in mass this Easter season. The trouble is...They grow up to be adult rabbits and chickens. I really have no trouble with rabbits. I admire their attitude on the sex act, but Chickens....In my opinion are equal to fish, chickens are stupid and annoying. I would suggest if you are giving a child a baby chicken for Easter you include the phrase "Next year we can eat this!" Sparing the little one any sorrow when you kill the damn thing because all it does is shit on your porch and try to figure out which way is up a year from now....Just my opinion.

Happy Easter to all and remember eggs are good and you don't have to wait a year to eat em...

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