Rates Go Postal

Bad news everyone....the price of a stamp to mail a letter is going up $.o2. A letter.....you know, when you write with a pencil or pen on paper, fold it up, stick it in an envelope,write an address on it, seal it, put it in the big blue box and it goes to another person of your choice anywhere in the United States.......Yes that is what those blue boxes on the street are for......no they are not just for decoration.......What?! Well you better stop throwing your trash in there.
Anyhoways, this massive rate hike is supposed to help keep the postal service afloat. I have another idea, I got it from the newspaper companies. Raise the cost of a stamp to $7,435.91 that way they will have more than enough cash to stay in the black.They will even be able to do some hiring and think how nice all those remodeled post offices will be.And sending a hand written letter will be even more meaningful than it is now. If someone spent that kind of cash to send you a letter wouldn't it show how much you meant to that person? Guys wondering what to get the wife on your anniversary? Don't worry about giving me any credit for the idea, I enjoy helping others. I'll admit I was a bit skeptical at first about the idea but then I figured if the newspapers can do it then why not the post office? The newspapers must have a reason for doing the old rate hike thing over and over. Sure to a layperson it seems stupid cause common sense would seem to indicate raising the price of something that has shrinking demand would hurt sales. But you need to realize you obviously are just ignorant of the newspaper business if they didn't have some kind of secret trade knowledge then what they are doing would be just stupid.....What? A newspaper, you know stories written on paper and sold.......oh never mind.