Porn be gone!

Baptist preacher Jay Dennis of the First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Florida wants to stop porn. It’s worse than crack cocaine he says. He says it’s been called the new bubonic plague. Maybe a little dramatic considering without treatment, the bubonic plague kills about two thirds of infected humans within 4 days. In the 14th century it killed an estimated 25 million people, or 30–60% of the European population. We would be in serious trouble if jay was right about the plague thing.

I went and checked out The First Baptist Church at the Mall  and it is legit. Jay Dennis even mentions atheists in one of his posts “I am Intolerant of the ACLU and Atheist Groups who tout First Amendment Rights yet attempt to shut down any praying in government or education, want to remove Christmas from our vocabulary in the public sector, and won’t rest until they remove every cross from any public place”  ( I contacted him about this already)

Jay is currently taking on porn. He claims it is the #1 issue effecting men in the Christian church. He says 80% of men in the church are struggling with porn on some level. To battle this evil which must involve Satan somehow. Jay has started Join 1 Million Men.

Join 1 Million Men is “a daily process of surrendering to the holy spirit” and some other stuff and biblical truth. Jay doesn’t care if you have to “destroy your personal computer” you need to get porn out of your life because it causes men to become useless masturbating bums who don’t go to work and need to touch their penis just like a crack head needs a rock.

Jay is asking men to take the pledge to remove porn from their lives from now until they go to heaven. I guess if you go to hell you are out of luck but if you go to heaven that’s the end of the pledge and you’ll be watching the archangel banging the hell (so to speak) out of some naughty nurses before you know it!

According to the anti-porn crusader the chances your son has seen some porn is nearly 100%.  Satan uses porn as a tool ( get it?) to do evil stuff to your children and distract them from the usual stuff 10 year old boys do, like masturbation. Hey that doesn’t make any…..whatever.    The catch is you have to be a boy 10 years old or over to join in the pledge so all you 6-9 years old boys get your porn in while you can cause before you know it you will be limited to watching naked characters on the cartoon network. At least until you get to heaven, then it’s “Debbie Does The Last Supper” every Friday night for eternity.

I checked out “the wall” where men can sign and pledge to remove all the porn from their lives. So far a little over 500 men have made the pledge to smash their computers if needed to keep from watching porn. I guess that’s a lot. It’s more than I expected to see.

Think of how happy this guy would be watching porn. Maybe there is a problem

While there is a certain percentage of the population that claim to have an addiction to porn so serious that it negatively effects their lives I don’t understand the need to remove it totally from everyone’s life. There are 10x as many people who watch porn and have no problem.

I  started thinking – Jay seems to be in denial of is a lot of women watch porn too. What about them? Jay also doesn’t consider the number of couples who may have saved their marriage by making porn part of their sexual routine. He is out to remove it altogether. Well my questions were soon answered. There is a wall for women too. The wall for women is not to pledge that they wont look at porn it is a pledge to help stop men from watching porn. Maybe he figures if the men get rid of it the women will have to obey. There is one tiny problem. Only 168 women have committed to stopping the men from looking at porn vs 500+ men who said they would remove it from their lives. I see a possible conflict arising from this whole thing.

Another  thing Jay never mentions is those damn Mormons. Those perverts watch more online porn than any other state in the USA according to the last poll I saw on the subject. Does he have plans to deal with them in the future?

I’ll give jay credit, he does seem to be taking a hardline on this, he isn’t gonna go soft on porn. Even if he has to bang on and look behind every green door in his city, he will be grabbing people’s knockers and having a three-way with couples across his town to spread his news. He will go down every alley, even if he makes himself look like a boob in the process. Jay knows in the end he can hold his head erect and know that when it came to porn he rubbed it out as hard and fast as he could.

He even has a booklet called “The Hardcore Battle Plan” that comes in one version for men and one for women.

Here is Jay’s video promoting his Join 1 Million Men crusade.

Introduction from New Hope Publishers on Vimeo.

 

I’d also like to offer my help to Jay Dennis by offering to take any porn his followers want to get rid of and making sure they never see it again. Who says I never rise to the occasion?

Porn be gone!